Good morning, little rays of sunshine!

Raise your hand if you’ve ever had scrambled eggs for breakfast! I’m willing to bet the amount of people who have done so is substantial. How many of you used to be children before becoming adults? It’s not a trick question. We all know the answer to that one.

Younger generations: How many of you like wearing cropped tops? I loved wearing them in college!

Did you see a trend in those questions? I mentioned scrambled eggs, used to be, and cropped tops. Why? Because they denote past tenses as descriptives. So why is it, lovely people of the world, that often, so many English speaking Earthlings talk about eating scramble eggs, or how they use to do something, or how they just got the cutest crop top?

What’s the difference?

Past tenses describe an action that has already been completed. When you order scrambled eggs, they have already been scrambled (past tense) when you get them. You used to be a child in the past. Belly bearing tops have already been cropped short before you wear them. Those “mix greens” you see on a menu will have already been mixed when the waiter brings your plate. Also, when someone mentions a crop top, I think of a shirt you would wear to harvest the land (blueberries, anyone?)

Would you ever say that last year, you drive a lot of hours on a roadtrip? When you run into your former college roommate, do you introduce her to people around you as: “She’s my roommate?” Or would you say “She was my roommate in college”? Why is that? Because you’re talking about the past.

So don’t be that person who makes English majors cringe, colorful flowers wither, and disappointed birds to drop dead from the sky. Show all the forces of the universe that there is still reason for this world to continue existing. There are people who sound like they have books in their homes, and there are those who sound like all they do is binge watch episodes of The Jersey Shore and eat cheese puffs. Which group do you want to be in?

Much love,

The Fairy Godwriter